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Senior Correspondent

I've had too much alone time. There have been two deaths in 48 hours, both unexpected, one to a 46-year-old woman, the best friend of my eldest daughter, who spent her childhood in my home. She now has an orphaned son. The other, just received a high-five from his cardiologist and died of a heart attack. He was 61. I’ve known both for 41 years. You know the drill. You reevaluate your priorities, promise to carpe the diem, blah blah … This time,  I am. What is it we want for whatever time is left? I've been so busy trying to out run aging that I haven’t really, truly asked myself that question. Avoidance of this question is typical. But why are we avoiding asking ourselves what we really want? 

There are obvious answers: We don’t want to be a burden to our children. We don’t want to outlive our money. These types of things fill our minds. But really, what is it we want and are willing to work for? What is realistic, what is impossible? Do we have any dreams left? When dreams die, do you? And so, the mulling and musing begins.

I think as long as you have something to look forward to — every day — you’re better off than most. If you have dreams or aspirations driving you, then you’re likely interesting, dynamic, and engaged. Dreams and aspirations comprise the force that lights you up, makes you a magnet pulling people towards you. Those dreams, what are sometimes seen as fantasies to those on the outside looking in, are the fuel to fire the life in you. They are the reasons many get up and do what they do every day. Some fight the fight in the political arena. Some fight to eradicate hunger and poverty. Some fight against discrimination and prejudice. Some fight to protect children and women. Some fight to retain their marriage. Some fight to keep their homes. Some fight to keep fit. Some fight to feed themselves and their families. Some fight addiction. Some fight just to fight. As I age, I find many must fight to stay alive and all too often, spend much of what the have put away for a rainy day doing so.

Most of us fight something daily, and when we feel as if we have lost a battle, we lose focus and feel as if our hopes and dreams are lost. And then what happens? We lose our edge. We start to fade. Some begin wishing to fade away quickly because it’s hard — really hard.

If it’s hard even for those who worked and gained some success and financial stability, which we in turn must to monitor and fret about.

Do you remember all those years saying to yourself, “If I had the time I would _______, I wish that _____________.” Well we have the time, so what are we going to do next?

Maybe it IS as simple as having a bucket list. What are your thoughts? I’ll be working on some new ones …

 

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