Money Archives - Page 27 of 37 - Senior Correspondent

Scarcity: The Game of Winners and Losers

“Grab a seat, Suzie.

Suse Orman and “What About Me?”

Suze Orman sat quietly on stage this week in her butter-yellow jacket, flanked on either side by seven other women and Tavis Smiley, the host. The topic was “Made Visible: Women, Children and Poverty.”
Women of all stripes and colors — African American, Native American, Latina — told of the cultural and social obstacles each group of women faces.
When it came her turn to speak, Suze said: “On some level, it is a woman’s nature to nurture. And she, in my opinion, will nurture every single person, spouse, family member, pet, plant, employer, and employee before she will nurture herself.
“But it is not until a woman is about 50, 55 or 60 — all by herself, her spouse has left her, her children now are grown but still living in her house — that she finally starts to say ‘What about ME?’”
Suze Orman is singing my song!
In fact, AARP Financial Inc. discovered in a nationwide survey in 2009 that 65 percent of women between the ages of 40 and 79 had already faced a major life crisis. These were identified as job loss, divorce, death of a spouse, serious illness or disability, and, in most cases, their finances suffered a significant blow as a result.
The vulnerability triggered by such events is reflected in women’s concern about their financial future; 61 percent of the women in the survey admitted to being worried about having enough money for the rest of their lives. Especially telling is the 35 percent of women with under $50,000 saved for retirement.
When I moved into that target age range of “over 50,” I watched my business crumble like a house of cards after 9/11. That was my wake-up call to the fact that I would be totally unprepared for retirement if I didn’t figure out what was causing me to mistreat and squander all the money I made.
That was the start of a multi-year journey into understanding money. (I was a finance expert, but not an expert at money.) Fifty books and hundreds of interviews later — some casual and some formal — I was finally able to unravel the tightly wound ball we each create and call “our money.”
In hindsight, I realized there were three key questions that started the process of conceptually unraveling money.
1. What do you believe?
2. What do you have?
3. What do you want?
These are grossly oversimplified, but they truly are the secret keys to getting money under control as they look at the beliefs you carry about money that are holding you back — what you actually have and actually owe today, and what you ultimately want in your life that money will make possible for you.
Each of these areas will be addressed in upcoming articles.
But until then, let me know in a comment below if you believe you are putting yourself first. In your own eyes, do you truly matter?

Money

Your Money and the Two Wolves

You’ve probably already heard this story:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life, and says, “A fight is going on inside me.”
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.” He continues: “The other is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thinks for a moment and then asks his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee wisely says, “The one you feed.”
I love this story, but hadn’t heard it before today. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it applies to virtually every aspect of our lives — how we handle our friendships and our intimate relationships, our jobs or businesses, and yes, even our money.
Let me give you an example. Say you walk up to 50 people and ask, “Would you like to have financial peace of mind?” How many people do you think would say “yes?" (I would be very surprised if the number weren’t near 50, unless they got sidetracked asking what exactly you meant by “financial peace of mind.”)
So, we can start with the premise that no one wants to be in debt. No one wants to lie in bed at night worrying about how to meet the existing bills, or how to be sure one emergency won’t push them over the edge financially, or how to hold on to the savings already accumulated that are at risk of disappearing with the tumultuous economy. No one wants to be poor, broke, cleaned out, in debt up to his or her eyeballs, ducking credit companies and bill collectors. No one wants that.
So what makes the difference between those who reach financial peace of mind and those who do not?
Think of this. There is no lack of information on what is required to get your financial house in order. (The internet is loaded with it.) And there is no dearth of people and services available to you in your community, your church, your library, or your friends and family.
Once again, what is the difference?
Now, I’m not saying that in order to reach financial peace of mind you have to be a goody two-shoes, focused only on love, hope, humility, empathy, and compassion. But I am saying that it’s unlikely you’ll get there from a place of envy, greed, self-pity, or false pride.
Bringing it back to words I use more commonly when I write, to reach financial peace of mind you have to:

* Be open to understanding what baggage you bring forward from your childhood as mistaken money messaging, and let it go — no ego, no self-pity, just compassion;
* Be willing to look at your financial situation honestly, putting things down in black and white, with no squiggling or squirming — no deceit, no little lies, just truth;
* Have clarity about what’s important to you way down deep (as in your life purpose) in order to have the motivation to do everything that’s needed to reach financial security — no anger or arrogance, just pure vision and belief.
Honestly, now. Do you ever hear yourself saying, “I just want all of this mess to disappear, and I don’t want to have to worry about money anymore?" Or, “Why do I work so hard and everyone else seems to be better off than I am?” And then, even if you do come up with a plan that could change everything for you, do you abandon it after three or four days?
Do you find that, no matter how often you talk about it, you seem to be stuck in the same place?
If so, what wolf do you think you’re feeding?