I just returned from Hollywood where once again, as has occurred for the 84th year, I did not receive the Gold Trophy as best in the FIELD OF NAGGING!
Of course, there were the years I wasn't born yet. However, mother said that when she was pregnant with me, every time she took a shot of whiskey I gave her belly — from the inside — a big kick.
I’d like to believe I was born to the cloth as other revered philosophers were.
Oh wait — I did miss that one year when I had listened to all those new age suggestions to let everyone be and do their own thang!
Well, my life fell apart that nag-less year. I didn't tell anyone what to do or give advice, so every unuttered word went straight to my hips and I celebrated Fat Tuesday every day of the week.
The kids didn't clean their room that year and our home was condemned by the by the Board of Health.
One son refused to get a haircut while I said nothing and the principal legally changed his name to Mary Elizabeth. so when he was drafted in the Army … oh please, don't ask. It was a long time ago.
So listen to me; wash your hands, sit up straight and it wouldn't hurt to take a nag to lunch once in a while!
Just stop scowling as if nagging is a bad thing. Remember, Plato was a nag, too!
As a matter of fact, Plato and the Platitudes were the first rock/advice giving group in history. By the way, do not forget Confucius as well, though he was king of the double entendres. Remember when he said if you went to bed with this at night, you would wake up with that the next day. The man had a filthy mouth. Did he ever mention that if you ate mushi pork you would bloat the next day? I would have told you.
Nagging is simply informing. So friends, just think of me as your personal information booth. I am always here for you! Just knowing that is my own reward.